托福23分寫作到底長什么樣？在教學(xué)過程中經(jīng)常會(huì)有學(xué)生問到說“老師，請(qǐng)問您給我的XX分是怎么來的呢？”學(xué)生很期待地看著我，希望知道文章是因?yàn)槟男﹩栴}而一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)地從30分扣到了XX分。嚴(yán)格來講，作文的評(píng)分是需要依據(jù)評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的，我們以4分（即24分）為例，的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)如下。
托福評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)
Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated.
Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications, and/or details.
Displays unity, progression, and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections.
Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form, or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning.
但從實(shí)操角度來講，老師大致看一下學(xué)生的作文就能以小于2分的誤差準(zhǔn)確給出與學(xué)生能力匹配的分?jǐn)?shù)了。
老師是怎么做到的？
老師閱學(xué)生無數(shù)，對(duì)照學(xué)生的習(xí)作和考試分?jǐn)?shù)自然就知道什么樣的作文對(duì)應(yīng)什么樣的分?jǐn)?shù)了！
一起來讀一篇23分的學(xué)生習(xí)作：
題目：It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.
Paragraph 1
It is important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.[1]Generally speaking, study idea and conceptscanimproveour study skill, help us createinnovativeideas andofferus keyinsightabout theframeworkof courses. [2]
[1] 贊：清晰地表明立場(chǎng)
[2] 贊：給出合理的解釋（improve study skill，help create innovative ideas，offer insight）
Paragraph 2
When learning ideas and concepts, students spend more time understanding the knowledge, rather than just memorizing.It can help them improve study skills[1], which are essential to their further graduate research.If students only remember dates and events in history class, they will forget quickly and cannot grasp the historical significance of events, which foster their ability to think, imagine and summarize the information.[2]However, if they try to understand the ideas, they can learn about the facts in a effective way, because it is easier to form logical connection among varies facts.[3]All in all, the study of ideas and concepts facilitate students’ study ability.[4]
[2] 贊：反面論證
[3] 贊：正面論證
[4] 贊：清晰的總結(jié)句
Paragraph 3
Students can pop outnumeriousnumerous innovative thinking[1]when they emphasize ideas in study. After they have a better understanding of the knowledge, they may be more creative andcritical [2].Considering a course I have taken named “A cultural history of 20th century America through music”, I found that Ibenefita lot from the methods professor introduced.Instead oflearning tremendous songs and musicians in certain historic period, he provided me with the thinking model of “music and culture”.That means I am expected [3] tounderstand and realize the link between music and its cultural background. In this process, I learned more about the background of music [4], which gave memore insights [5]about the theme of the songs, and also its historical value. I began to think independently about the impact of history on music, which benefits me a lot. In conclusion, studying concepts and ideas boost my creative thinking.
[1] 贊：此處為Paragraph1解釋里的第二個(gè)點(diǎn)
[2] 邏輯問題：此處“critical”是一個(gè)在Paragraph1里沒有提及的點(diǎn)。
[3] 贊：用了被動(dòng)語態(tài)（passive voice）使論述更客觀，非常贊！
[4] 邏輯問題：此處沒有照應(yīng)主題句里的innovation thinking。
[5] 贊：此處為Paragraph1解釋里的第二個(gè)點(diǎn)里的關(guān)鍵詞。
這個(gè)學(xué)生的英文水平其實(shí)是非常好的。一些非常具體的名詞和形容詞，諸如 ”“insights” “framework” “l(fā)ogical” “critical”“significance”，有在文中體現(xiàn)。此外，學(xué)生不僅鮮少有語法問題，句式多樣性做得也很好。
